I want to sell me.

I read.

I read lots and lots of fantastic books, and magazines, and pretty $15 magazines, Where Women Create is my favorite.

I like to get idea’s, I like to live in other people’s worlds. To know that a world of being something BIG, even if it’s small town, and a small business, it’s BIG to their world.

I want that. I want to be something BIG to me.

Sure I talk of my dream job. The Zoo. Chicago’s Brookfield Zoo to be exact. I mean it WAS my job for a day. 

And it’s not a imaginary job, but it takes SO much time and dedication, SO much schooling and where I am in life with my kids and my family… well those are my excuses. My new path in animal love is to volunteer when I can. To read my books and watch my shows to learn as much as I can about them.

And like everyone else I have other dreams. Big ideas. And I read these magazines, see websites, blogs, and books about women who have taken what they love SO much and created a store, a website store, even if it’s just to make enough money to buy more product to make more of what they love.

I’ve always had this knack for making things. I claim to be pretty damn artsy fartsy and I love to create… BUT I don’t seem to really settle on ONE thing.

Let’s go back to my dream idea before I start rattling off my long list of creative loves… the dream is to have a store. Well it WAS a dream. But realizing a physical store requires you away from your family and loved ones. And in the economy, I’m not really sure I could even afford to rent space in order to do this.

But then something like Etsy came along, and all of it’s online wonderfulness. Or the town nearby has stores, that would let you sort of ‘rent’ a space in their store and sell what you make…right now I’ve got a booth with my mom. It’s in an antique mall. And 99% of the stuff is vintage or antique. Great place, great to clean out my house, just not great for my dream.

What would I sell? Hmmm….

I’ve sold my Ugly Sock Monsters before…

We can put these guys under sewing… well here’s a list of everything I can and love to do creatively.

I sew.

For the love of sewing it’s all due to my mom. She’s been sewing since, well forever. She bought me a sewing machine when I was in my 20’s and I’m pretty sure it sat in a box for 5 years before I even looked at it. I do enjoy it. And I’ve been hoarding ALL the fabric that I like from clothes that are on their way out the door to ‘create’ with.

I paint.

High School art class taught me that. Watercolor is fun, acrylic is random, and it’s a good stress relief.

I draw.

Cartoons to be exact. I love Disney characters. Bad guys and animals are the easy one’s for me. I’d love to take the time to sketch more, to practice, to remember the basics again.

I do clay.

It’s easy stuff. Stays soft till you bake it. Good because I’ve got a 5 month project STILL half finished on my counter!

I scrapbook.

THIS is a hobby I stayed away from. I KNEW once I got in, it’d be trouble. Well trouble it is. But I love to capture life, stories, every day events, and all about me. In pictures, papers and my art. I traditional scrapbook in the big ol’ 12x12 size. I’ve done 6x6, 8 1/2 x11, 8x8, in a journal, in a mini book. I love to try them all.

I rubber stamp.

When I was a kid we took a family vacation to St. Augustine Florida, my Aunt and Uncle live there. My mom and I came across a Rubber Stamp Store, we fell in love with the idea. 15 years later we learned of Stampin’ Up! rubber stamp company, within 2 years I was selling it as a demonstrator. Did that for 6 years.

And out of all of those my basement is where they call home. I have 1/2 as my beloved art room. YES I have a HUGE purple room dedicated to my love for art. I share it with family and friends, and most of all my children when they are creating as well.

What the problem is?

Problem is my personality. There is this amazing book that I found out about from my good friend Tiff. WAY back in 2003.

Personality Plus

It’s a book with a personality test. Then it breaks it down. Your positives, your negatives, and how to work with what you’ve got. I love it. I had my family take the tests and it’s amazing how ON point this book was. I suggest EVERYONE read it. And it’s amazing for people who work together as well.

So before I go into a 10 paragraph book review. I’ll get back to my point.

This book said it. And it’s true.

No Follow-Through. But good intention too.

I start projects, BRILLIANT ideas… again, not a good finisher.

THIS was on point with me. I call it procrastination at it’s best, they call it my personality.

SO with all that in mind. HOW do I follow through with this? With any idea of selling art, of making my creativity actually work in this world I’ve made. I’m a SAHM with my free time numbered. When Buzz goes to school full time in the fall of 2013, it’s a good time for me to get a J.O.B.

And believe me I want more money around this house, so we can enjoy things OUTSIDE of this house again.

Do you think it’s possible. With my no follow through personality, with my procrastination at it’s best, but with my willing to WANT to create, and to make it out there in the world… could I?

I’m not saying have a billion dollar idea, and a rocking chain of art stores. I’m just saying that I’m inspired everyday to create, to share my creation, to teach to others the basics of creating… and to possibly make money doing this…

Now where do I begin?

JCat McGack

A New Start

How do I say this with out sounding repetitive? Or do I just come right out and say it? Well here it is… ‘We are going to exercise and eat better’ NOTE the word ‘diet’ isn’t in that line. Because I don’t diet well. I think once that word enters my mind I balk at the idea.
The idea of not eating fun foods, of gorging on anything I want, it crushes me.
DIE is the majority of the word ‘diet’ And yes I think a bit of me dies when I have to ‘diet’. My freedom is taken, and I’m forced to tell myself to do things I don’t want to do.
So instead of ‘DIEting’ we are going to make MUCH better choices, AND we are going to do SOME SORT of physical activity. Be it walking, working out, running the stairs a few times instead of once. P90X a few times a week, toss the iPod on for a few rounds of ‘Cupid Shuffle’ (try squats instead of just kicks)
Starting today, September 21st 2011, and I’m hoping that by June 2012 I’ve lost all the evil weight I’ve put on. Sure I’ve got two kids to blame but who’s to blame for the other 14 pounds I’ve put on since then? This summer alone I’ve gained 8 pounds.
I’ve always had high self esteem I keep my head up, have confidence, and as long as your put together, your weight shouldn’t bring you down. I was getting comfortable in my weight, and it’s NOT a bad thing. But I know I can do better. I’ve done it before.

I think 9 months is a good amount of time to work on myself. It’s going to be a cold fall, long winter, and wrap things up this rainy spring. PLENTY of time.
Biggest thing I hear from people when I tell them I’m going to do this?
‘WHY would you do it now?! The Holidays are coming! You can’t possible want to diet and exercise then!’
 Sigh. If I use ONE more excuse as to WHY it’s not a good time to start, I will NEVER start.
Agreed it’s going to be a challenge, both my parents have birthdays in October, November is my BFF’s Birthday not to mention the wonderful holidays of Halloween, Turkey Day, Jone’s Christmas Party, the Christmas Eve Family Party with Blue’s family, and Christmas Day at Queen and Carrots. I CAN eat food people, just not enough to feed a family of 4 in one sitting.
But with ALL those reasons, the fact that I miss me. The little me. I miss the 5 foot 105 pound me…
GASP! 105 you say?! WHO weights that?! No one should way that little! That’s a bit TOO much!! You are a mom now, I mean let’s be real! Accept the fact that you’ll be heavier forever now!!
Yep, that’s what I ALWAYS here when I say what I want to weigh. But if you look it up on WebMD, talk to a doctor, any female at the HEIGHT of ONLY 5 feet tall should be a healthy 105-110.
At 5 feet tall right now I’m coming in at… yes I’m going to tell you my weight. I don’t care if the whole free world knows… 143.5. (and PLEASE don’t start on me with the whole ‘that weight is JUST fine’ or the ‘do you know I would LOVE to be that weight!’ again this is about ME. Not you.)
Last time I was 110 I was walking down the isle 10 years ago. I gained the ‘Newly wed 10 pounds, (I DID lose 9 of it walking and eating healthy so it IS possible!) and stayed around 120 till I was pregnant with Tink. Went ALL the way up to 164 pounds, and LOST it all but 3 pounds, putting me at 122, before getting pregnant with Buzz. BACK up to 165, and back down to 129. I was doing good but Post Partum Depression took over me, and for the last 5 years I’ve been struggling with my mind.
What? Your always smiley, and your Facebook and Twitter posts always seem pretty cheery… that’s what I did. Put on a smiley face. Said motherhood was HARD, but I could do it. I did it. But thinking I didn’t need medication or therapy I suffered. My temper was short, and I would have to remove myself from the room often to calm down. My brain JUST couldn’t handle whining and crying and all the stress that came with having two kids 22 months apart.
I had two barking boxer dogs at the time, plus two pissing cats. Blue was working 3 jobs, and so it seemed like I was doing things on my own. Money was tight, bills were crazy, and it was a big change for all of us.
Looking back I realize I should have gone to therapy. To get it out, to talk. I have to say my previous blog helped, pouring myself into my Stampin’ Up! art job, and taking it one day at a time with the kids was what I did.
Now we have the cats set up in the art room, I couldn’t get rid of them, but ruining furniture was not an option for keeping them in the whole house.
We’ve sadly lost our dearest boxer, Maggie, to Thyroid Cancer this last April and even though my heart is broken that she is gone. Being down to just Sophie it’s easier on the house work, no barking, no fighting dogs, less stress.
Our home has received a HUGE make over. We moved rooms around. A much needed shift in the flow of the house. Moving the toy room from the front living room to the basement (right next to the Art room/ cat home) which keeps mess and clutter out of sight.
Making the first floor the front library sitting room (not to be mistaken with the ‘fancy don’t touch anything room. We don’t believe in that room) we read, play games, do puzzles and visit in that room.
Then to the dining area/kitchen and then the family room which is now a family room. It once was a sports room filled with TONS of sports memorabilia a HUGE pool table (for sale, and over along the one wall till we sell it!) and the walls were bright red and black. That room was for us before kids, and after 5 years of barely using it. We realized that it was almost a waste of space.
So my point is we needed an overhaul. We moved rooms, and some how the flow of the rooms, the loss of our beloved Maggie, me letting go of the Stampin’ Up! gig, and the organizing of our home. It all made me better.
With the help of Fly Lady I’ve learned to purge and how to clean better. I am making a better home for us.
I have to say I haven’t had to leave the room due to an angry head shaking episode in about 3 months. That’s huge for me.
Which after YEARS and YEARS of saying I’m going to eat better, and exercise. I’m thinking that with a better home, and a clear head, I can. And I will lose the 38 pounds. I’ve got 9 months. So roughly 4.23 pounds a month and 1.06 pounds a week.
So wish me good luck, I’ve got Blue by my side. We are going to change our lives for the better, I can’t wait to see what kind of RoCk StArS we look like next summer.