“I like paint and friends.”

I had a chat with Buzz this morning. I did my best not to cry, and hold back tears as so I don’t freak him out.

"Hey you. You know tomorrow Daddy and I take you to preschool" I said.

He says back with a mouthful of egg burrito "Yep. Mia, Sophie and Daddy leave me... But not you"
I TRY so hard to hold back the tears.

“Well tomorrow, Daddy and I get to stay with you. But, on Friday, in a few days, Daddy and I will take you and we have to leave you there, on your own” I say strongly, no tears. No tears. No tears I tell myself.

He thinks and says “Who will be with me then?”

I reply “Your teachers. Your new friends. You will play, learn your ABC’s and how to count, you will do art, and play at the playground too” I tell him ALL the positive things I can think of, hoping this won’t be a disaster. I mean his sister, Tink did A.MAZ.ING when she started school. But he’s my baby, and a momma’s boy. But I need him to be strong, independent, and smart on his own… still a momma’s boy though.

He says “OK! Because I like paint. And friends.” as he looks back to his Star Wars squinkie toys. I realize that conversation is over. And he is OK with the idea of being on his own.
I just watch him play… I think, he’s going to do JUST fine on Friday. Me? That’s another story.

My baby, that is becoming SO independent. My big boy that has his own thoughts, his own idea’s. I can’t slow him down. I can only enjoy this ride of life. Take it all in, because damn it, it’s going way to fast.

To my 4 year old, Buzz. I loves you. xoxo… and for all of you, I want to share with you OUR song. We’ve danced to since he was a baby.

Smile by Uncle Kracker

You’re better than the best
I’m lucky just to linger in your light
Cooler than the flipside of my pillow, that’s right
Completely unaware
Nothin’ can compare to where you send me
Lets me know that it’s okay, yeah it’s okay
And the moments when my good times start to fade

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile

Even when you’re gone
Somehow you come along just like a flower
Poking through the sidewalk crack
And just like that, you steal away the rain
And just like that

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile

Don’t know how I lived without you
‘Cause every time that I get around you
I see the best of me inside your eyes
You make me smile

You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild

You make me smile like the sun
Fall out of bed
Sing like a bird
Dizzy in my head
Spin like a record
Crazy on a Sunday night

You make me dance like a fool
Forget how to breathe
Shine like gold
Buzz like a bee
Just the thought of you can drive me wild
Oh you make me smile

(Oh you make me smile) oh you make me smile
(Oh you make me smile) oh you make me smile

Love you more then you’ll ever know,
Mommy