Wednesday, September 21, 2011
The idea of not eating fun foods, of gorging on anything I want, it crushes me.
DIE is the majority of the word ‘diet’ And yes I think a bit of me dies when I have to ‘diet’. My freedom is taken, and I’m forced to tell myself to do things I don’t want to do.
So instead of ‘DIEting’ we are going to make MUCH better choices, AND we are going to do SOME SORT of physical activity. Be it walking, working out, running the stairs a few times instead of once. P90X a few times a week, toss the iPod on for a few rounds of ‘Cupid Shuffle’ (try squats instead of just kicks)
Starting today, September 21st 2011, and I’m hoping that by June 2012 I’ve lost all the evil weight I’ve put on. Sure I’ve got two kids to blame but who’s to blame for the other 14 pounds I’ve put on since then? This summer alone I’ve gained 8 pounds.
I’ve always had high self esteem I keep my head up, have confidence, and as long as your put together, your weight shouldn’t bring you down. I was getting comfortable in my weight, and it’s NOT a bad thing. But I know I can do better. I’ve done it before.
I think 9 months is a good amount of time to work on myself. It’s going to be a cold fall, long winter, and wrap things up this rainy spring. PLENTY of time.
Biggest thing I hear from people when I tell them I’m going to do this?
‘WHY would you do it now?! The Holidays are coming! You can’t possible want to diet and exercise then!’
Sigh. If I use ONE more excuse as to WHY it’s not a good time to start, I will NEVER start.
Agreed it’s going to be a challenge, both my parents have birthdays in October, November is my BFF’s Birthday not to mention the wonderful holidays of Halloween, Turkey Day, Jone’s Christmas Party, the Christmas Eve Family Party with Blue’s family, and Christmas Day at Queen and Carrots. I CAN eat food people, just not enough to feed a family of 4 in one sitting.
But with ALL those reasons, the fact that I miss me. The little me. I miss the 5 foot 105 pound me…
GASP! 105 you say?! WHO weights that?! No one should way that little! That’s a bit TOO much!! You are a mom now, I mean let’s be real! Accept the fact that you’ll be heavier forever now!!
Yep, that’s what I ALWAYS here when I say what I want to weigh. But if you look it up on WebMD, talk to a doctor, any female at the HEIGHT of ONLY 5 feet tall should be a healthy 105-110.
At 5 feet tall right now I’m coming in at… yes I’m going to tell you my weight. I don’t care if the whole free world knows… 143.5. (and PLEASE don’t start on me with the whole ‘that weight is JUST fine’ or the ‘do you know I would LOVE to be that weight!’ again this is about ME. Not you.)
Last time I was 110 I was walking down the isle 10 years ago. I gained the ‘Newly wed 10 pounds, (I DID lose 9 of it walking and eating healthy so it IS possible!) and stayed around 120 till I was pregnant with Tink. Went ALL the way up to 164 pounds, and LOST it all but 3 pounds, putting me at 122, before getting pregnant with Buzz. BACK up to 165, and back down to 129. I was doing good but Post Partum Depression took over me, and for the last 5 years I’ve been struggling with my mind.
What? Your always smiley, and your Facebook and Twitter posts always seem pretty cheery… that’s what I did. Put on a smiley face. Said motherhood was HARD, but I could do it. I did it. But thinking I didn’t need medication or therapy I suffered. My temper was short, and I would have to remove myself from the room often to calm down. My brain JUST couldn’t handle whining and crying and all the stress that came with having two kids 22 months apart.
I had two barking boxer dogs at the time, plus two pissing cats. Blue was working 3 jobs, and so it seemed like I was doing things on my own. Money was tight, bills were crazy, and it was a big change for all of us.
Looking back I realize I should have gone to therapy. To get it out, to talk. I have to say my previous blog helped, pouring myself into my Stampin’ Up! art job, and taking it one day at a time with the kids was what I did.
Now we have the cats set up in the art room, I couldn’t get rid of them, but ruining furniture was not an option for keeping them in the whole house.
We’ve sadly lost our dearest boxer, Maggie, to Thyroid Cancer this last April and even though my heart is broken that she is gone. Being down to just Sophie it’s easier on the house work, no barking, no fighting dogs, less stress.
Our home has received a HUGE make over. We moved rooms around. A much needed shift in the flow of the house. Moving the toy room from the front living room to the basement (right next to the Art room/ cat home) which keeps mess and clutter out of sight.
Making the first floor the front library sitting room (not to be mistaken with the ‘fancy don’t touch anything room. We don’t believe in that room) we read, play games, do puzzles and visit in that room.
Then to the dining area/kitchen and then the family room which is now a family room. It once was a sports room filled with TONS of sports memorabilia a HUGE pool table (for sale, and over along the one wall till we sell it!) and the walls were bright red and black. That room was for us before kids, and after 5 years of barely using it. We realized that it was almost a waste of space.
So my point is we needed an overhaul. We moved rooms, and some how the flow of the rooms, the loss of our beloved Maggie, me letting go of the Stampin’ Up! gig, and the organizing of our home. It all made me better.
With the help of Fly Lady I’ve learned to purge and how to clean better. I am making a better home for us.
I have to say I haven’t had to leave the room due to an angry head shaking episode in about 3 months. That’s huge for me.
Which after YEARS and YEARS of saying I’m going to eat better, and exercise. I’m thinking that with a better home, and a clear head, I can. And I will lose the 38 pounds. I’ve got 9 months. So roughly 4.23 pounds a month and 1.06 pounds a week.
So wish me good luck, I’ve got Blue by my side. We are going to change our lives for the better, I can’t wait to see what kind of RoCk StArS we look like next summer.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
I was excited to have all of us together for our family picture, we take it once a year at the Cat Family Picnic. SO… I’ll do some introductions to those of you who don’t know…
We have Buzz up there in his Da Bears shirt, being held by his daddy Blue. Me, JCat down in front. Center of attention is my mom the Queen, and my Dad Carrots behind. My fantastic sister Frances, and last but not least Tink.
Like I said in the ‘Hello’ post we will be having ‘secret names’ for the safety of all who participate, it’s better that the whole web doesn’t really know who we are.
I swear I’ll come up with a better post… soon. I’ve got a winner of a head cold, and sleep is not something I’ve had much of lately. Coughing. sneezing. watery eyes. Meh. That’s my excuse.
I will be QUITE the busy girl tonight, I’ve got a HOT date with my t.v.
From 7 pm till 8:30 it’s the NEW Season Premier of Survivor!! LOVE it (Laptop right next to me because Jeff Probst Tweets live!)
Then from 8:30 –10 pm we have the season Finale of Big Brother (which I love this show SO much as I type this I can hear the houseguests snoring. YES I have the 24/7 live feeds, NO it does NOT consume my life, just a fun thing to have, and fun to watch) oh and this tv schedule is for Central time zone.
You do the math 3 hours of tv tonight. LOVE it. Biggest tv night for me this year! Wee!
Oh my, I should have stopped before I got going… alright more coffee and I’m going to go get into some trouble… as in house work trouble…ex.cit.ing.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Where was I 10 years ago Sunday…
At the gym. I’d normally forget these minor details but I remember them so clearly. I was just married, not even 3 months. My dad had won a 3 month membership to a local gym, and gave it to me.
I was finished working out. I cleaned off my treadmill, and headed toward the locker room. As I walked by the juice bar I saw on the muted t.v. a scene from a movie.
I was thinking ‘What country is this horrible act happening? I mean this doesn’t happen in the states so maybe the twin towers in Malaysia, the Petronas Towers. I had seen Sean Connery and Catherine Zeta Jones on them in the movie Entrapment. But all too fast I realized that was here. In OUR country. In OUR New York.
Instead of rushing to the locker room to collect my things and hurry home. I turned towards the gym. Full of people who were doing what they do everyday… knowing that they only have a short period of time left before their world is changed forever.
I drove home, and called my husband, I was the first one to tell the day shift surveillance agents at the casino about what was happening. I called my parents and my best friend. Like everyone else I needed to just check in on those I loved.
I got ready for work, I was a teller at a local grocery store bank. I remember sitting in my purple Pontiac. In the grocery store parking lot. The radio station said that the building was collapsing. I cried in my car.
I went into work. And we solemnly sat around with a radio on. Listening to what was happening to our world. The older customers were scared and wanted to take out all their money. We ended up closing early that day because we didn’t have the funds on property to cover if there was a panic of customers wanting to withdraw.
I remember NEVER being SO proud of our country. All those people fighting to save each other. Fire fighters going into a burning skyscraper. KNOWING they will not come out. The police, the doctors, the regular you’s and me’s who did all they could to help. The empathy we all had for each other right after it happened.
And still 10 years our troops who sacrifice their lives, their time with their families to fight and keep me free. I thank them will all of my heart.
What will I do this Sunday?
I will be with my children all morning. Then the 4 of us will be going to the annual family reunion. Hoping to catch some of the Bears game too. We will be mourning the loss of our cousin, due to Cancer this winter. But enjoy our time with each other.
In honor of 9/11 I will never forget. I will pass along the story of that day to my children, and their children. I will never. forget.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
It’s me. JCat. That’s my blog name. Sounds silly, yes. But see in the Blogosphere many of us use fake names. Keeps us safe from creepy Googler’s, lurkers, bad guys and so on. Which is why ALL of my family and friends will have fun new nick names. (given by ME)
See this is MY blog. My space. My opinions. My story. Me. Mine. AND so on that note, understand this. IF you do not like my post, feel free to leave a comment anyway. DO NOT lurk, or start trolling for drama. I will not have it. (Been there. dealt with that)
In my blog be prepared for… ranting. swearing. venting… but also expect heartwarming stories. funny experiences and more then you want to know about me.
I’ve been blogging since 2007. But I wanted to share it publicly now. Where I could post about what I want. And get feedback (yes this means COMMENT below) on what you think.
So here’s to ‘Unconventional Randomness’ a blog about Me. My family. My life.