Saturday, February 9, 2013

From the front porch.

Normal morning routine for school. Mia gets up, dressed in the pre chosen outfit, hair and teeth brushed. Breakfast and morning chit chat. As always at 7:40 am we head to the front door to get all her coat, hat, gloves, scarf (OMG, I love the warm weather for the lack of 5 minutes of layers!) I start putting on my hat and coat, boots on. Open the door and Mia says "Mom. Um, today you could just say goodbye from the porch, ok?"
Me "Sure. I can still see you from there. If that's what you want"
Mia "Yeah. It's too cold for you to have to wait with me"
Me "Ok, yea, it’s too cold. I'll stay on the porch"
Mia “Good. Loveyoubye!”
She grabs her princess backpack, and wheels it down the drive way. I sit, sad faced and heart broken on the front porch. She meets her bus stop neighbor friends and they board the bus. And it noisily drives away.

Later that day when she comes home. Ed and I are sitting on the couch. I ask her "Mia, do you think on Monday I can come to the bus stop with you"
She said, with a look on her face that she was trying to break it easily to me "Well, maybe we try the, me alone, thing a few more days. See how that goes"
As she skipped out of the room. Tears ran down my face.

There are these moments. That she’s about 15 years old. Where she doesn’t want me anywhere near her. I get it. She’s testing her wings, she needs to do this. To grow on her own, to challenge life, to be her own person.

I guess I just assume that at 6 1/2 she’d still be my baby, needy, and clingy. But what I’m quickly learning is that by 5 she was already challenging these things, and every day there are more new things she can do on her own.

She’ll always need me. I mean I’m 34 and still need my mom. But she’s already becoming the independent, strong, and brave little woman I dream of her being.

Not saying I’ve got to like it.

But I will stand behind her and support her. Or at least from the front porch.

Buggy 02-09-13

Slow down Buggy, Mommy’s having a hard time keeping up.
Loves you.


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