Thursday, November 15, 2012

Shopping for food and bigger boobs

Today is the 4th day of our “Eating Healthy and working out” life changing event. I’m way less stabby.

Ed cookie ecard

I posted a few days ago about how motivated I was… I still am. I have to be honest the first day was one of my lower moments.
I cried. I sat in front of the open fridge drinking Boones Farm Sangria to numb my pain of not being able to eat pasta for every meal. My food heart was broken. I went to my Pinterest board of “Work It Out” and looked for inspiration.

So instead of caving, I went to bed at 9:30pm. The next day was ok… I ate a lot. But all snacks. So eggs for breakfast, then a few hours later an apple, after that lunch was a measured cup of pasta (I NEED carbs) snack was pretzels, dinner was pork chops, corn and apple sauce.

I was wearing thin again that night. It’s our tv munching that gets us. So the next morning I dropped Buzz off at school and Blue and I went to shop for food. Aldi and Walmart later we came home with food we loved to eat. BUT was healthy. A variety of fruit for snacks, pretzel chips, yogurt, fish and chicken for dinners, and now we’ve added Hummus to our snack foods.

Work out routines for me haven’t started yet. No good reason. Soon… maybe today I’ll do the step routine I found in Shape’s recent magazine.

So yesterday my MIL called to celebrate my Christmas with her. It’s been YEARS since I’ve done this with her. It includes a day of clothes shopping and dinner afterwards.

My MIL was hesitant of buying me clothes, if I was going to loose all this weight. HA. I’ve been saying that for 4 years now. I need new clothes. At least feel good about clothes that I know fit me now.  I’ve got to get to that smaller size, before I start worrying about having to big of clothes. New clothes that fit THIS me, inspires me to loose weight, so I can fit into even smaller and cuter clothes!

Starting in Victoria Secrets Pink store. This is my SECOND time EVER in this store. First time was a few weeks ago, my best friend took me. She had to pay a bill… omg. I FEEL IN LOVE. HARD. Bright colors, comfy clothes, cute clothes, things I WEAR everyday!! I spent a good amount of my Christmas present in that store.

Now we ALL know how mean florescent lighting is. Those evil mirrors and all in a tiny room full of static electricity! Gah! It was an awakening to what size I fit in, and what I look like in it… almost like looking at myself through other peoples eyes. Gross.

I’ve had good self esteem most of my life. (thanks to my parents for ALWAYS boosting me up) I’ve got tough skin, but this was brutal.

I’m SUPER inspired to purge the HELL out of my closet. Donate, donate, donate. Again, the new years resolution of 2013, Simplify.

NOW onto the good news. I had my Pink girl, Cassie, measure me. FIRST time ever to be actually measured for a bra (sad I know) I was always a small B. Had kids, kept the big boobs… figured I was a small C now… Cassie said (and I’ve read this before) that 70% of women are in the wrong size bra. Well I walked in wearing a 36 B bra. She measured me. I had her measure me again. And still I doubted her… a 36D!?! WHAT?


Yes. She showed me on the measuring tape. She wrote it on the little boob card so I can keep it forever. Ah, if I could time travel and show this card to my 12 year old self, and say “You’ll get there someday”

The girl who for 16 years of her life prayed for nothing but boobs. I’m NOT kidding. Church every Sunday? boobs. Mass every morning before classes? Boobs.

I wanted boobs. Everyone else had them, I was tired of being made fun of for not having them. 16! I was 16 when I finally got them! Now don’t get me wrong, I know they are bigger due to my weight. I’m sure when I loose weight, they will get smaller too. I’ve enjoyed my big boobs, and living in big boob land. But I’d be MORE then happy to be my little self again with little self boobs… well not LITTLE boobs. You get my point.

Cassie might as well have said “You aren’t a large, you are a XS!” it was such a compliment… now if I could be an XS again, AND have boobs… life complete*.

JCat McGack

*Amazing that the world paints a picture for what we should be. Not saying I’m gullible and HAVE to fit a stereotype, if that is what my blog post reads as. I want to be healthy, but still have the curves.

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