Saturday, February 18, 2012

“If I just lay here. Would you lie with me, and just forget the world. ”

Do me a favor… listen to this song, even if put on a head seat so your boss doesn’t catch you.  Even if you know it by heart. This song is our song… you’ll understand better after you read this…


At dinner tonight, Blue and I were sitting at the table eating and we heard this LOUD, constant barking. I said “Where is Sophie?”

Blue said “She’s outside…that’s odd, I haven’t heard her bark like that in forever.”

So after a few more minutes of her CONSTANTLY barking as loud, and as excited as she could. I went to the back door.

I first check next door, and see Trigger outside. She always barks with him. But this was a different bark. Just like an ‘old Sophie’ bark. And I notice that she’s not next to the fence by Trigger. But by Lady’s fence.

Lady is an old black lab who lives behind us. They NEVER bark at each other. And I don’t see Lady outside either, but I see a wiggly little dog… about the size of Sophie… I said to Blue “Looks like a boxer? Dark and brindle colored too”

And I looked at him. And he said… “Let me go out and look”… he made it to the back fence, and came right back. He said “YOU can NOT go out there. You just can’t”

So I had to. I grabbed my shoes, and my sweatshirt. I headed out the door. I went to the back fence, and I said “Soph. What is it Soph?! Do you see a puppy?! She looks just like…OMG” my hands went to my face and I started to sob. Before it, I was on my knees at the fence, my arms pushed through the lats, begging for this dog to look at me.

She looked at me. With HUGE brown eyes, through long brown eyelashes, a dark black face, with dark red and black brindle tiger stripes. Ohmygod. It was Maggie… OUR Maggie as a baby. And then I looked at Sophie and wondered if she thought the same thing? I mean she was SPOT ON Maggie. Our beloved Maggie, the Maggie that we had from when we moved into our home, the Maggie that was Sophie’s best friend, and her one and only bestest sister… the baby girl we had to let go of, just 10 months ago due to throat cancer.

Maggie and Sophie sepia

I mean I thought dogs would go by smell alone… did Sophie SEE that she looked JUST like Maggie? That she was a boxer just like her?

Sophie was just SO excited. I mean it’s been since Maggie was better that I’ve seen her bark like that. I walked Sophie back to the house, and for 10 minutes she barked in my face, she licked the tears as they ran down my face.

I have never been so happy and so sad at the exact same time. I was so happy that Sophie was SO excited. She was just elated with the fact that her sister came to see her. I mean we’ve gone through 10 months of Sophie moping, and sleeping, and sure she’s happy, but this was just her BURSTING with joy. And I was SO sad, my heart just imagined my baby Maggie, my first dog, who kissed away my PPD tears, who protected us, and was the best girl. Who gave us her all.

Sophie was SO happy. I mean barking and kissing my face… I looked at Blue, his eyes filled with tears, and realize we all thought the same thing.

Maggie came home, to visit. She was letting us know that in Dog Heaven she is a puppy again. Wiggly, excited, and just as beautiful as she always was.

After I spent time with Sophie and Ed. I had to go back. To see her again. She was cautious and sweet, but once she realized I was alone, she came to me and let me pet her. I pet her for 15 minutes, I froze my butt off, squatted next to the fence till my legs went numb.

Then I stood, at the four foot fence, and she put up her giant boxer paws and I held her face in my hands. I just wanted to hold her… I just wanted to hold Maggie one more time… and she turned her head and gave me that boxer look. And I knew, it was a different dog. And I thanked her. For putting up with the crazy family on the other side of the fence. For giving us just one more visit. I then remembered back this last spring, I had lost my self in this same puppy, when she was just born. It’s our neighbors brother. He has brought her by one other time. I’m pretty sure we acted the same way.

But to the three of us. It was our Maggie May coming home one more time. To let us know she is OK. She is safe and wonderful, and waiting. Patiently. For us to come see her on the Rainbow Bridge and take her home.

Maggie may

Well until that day Magg, we appreciate these visits. We needed to see you again. We know your watching over us. We just needed that… a few minutes to SEE you again.

Oh and just so you know, your sister, Sophie, is doing her best to fill that hole in my hear that you left… it’s a pretty big hole. One that I do think will always be there.

Maggie w mia camera 09

“If I lay here. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me, and just forget the world. All that I am. All that I ever was, is here in your perfect eyes. They are all that I can see. Forget what we are told. Before we are too old. And show me a garden that is bursting into life. Lets waste time. Chasing cars. If I just lay here. Would you lie with me, and just forget the world. ”

Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

That song would play when Maggie and I would go for car rides. Sophie never liked car rides, but Maggie, LOVED to have her head out the window. Just to be with me in the car.


And the song reminded me of all the times when she would just lay with you. Just stare at you, and look into your soul. Maggie just knew, she knew when to listen, when to hug, and when to just sit in your lap (all 70 lbs of her) and just be there for you.


Thank you Maggie May. You are gone, but never forgotten.

April 21st 2003 -  April 19th 2011

JCat McGack

If you want to see my final video with my Maggie May…


Anonymous said...

I know it's hard, but hang in there girl! Xoxoxo!
I'm glad you got to have that. And I love that song.

Maternal Mirth said...

The thing that makes love so special is we have limited time to enjoy it, but it still lives on forever.